Last night, the Girls and I went to the movies. Audrey went to the ticket counter for pick up, and the worker behind the glass shooed her away, panicked; announcing through the microphone: “There’s a FIRE inside! BACK UP! Get everyone away from the building!” and as Audrey turned, a wall of flames shot up behind the worker. The ticket window exploded into a million glittering shards. Auds dove for safety.

Okay, that’s only half true.

Kids went to sleep at 7, Audrey and Nelly arrived at 8:30, Valerie arrived at 9. I’d bought a new pair of jeans (they looked nice but were THREE sizes bigger than the last pair I had to buy, and even though the brand runs small, that’s painful). Everyone is giddy. Climb into Auds’ car and Valerie tells us about how hungry she was today– she was waiting for her mom to come home from work early, but early didn’t mean that early– and finally she had to settle for whatever was in the fridge.

VALERIE: And guess what it was. Salmon loaf.

BECCA: …Where would you even get that?

VALERIE: You can’t even get salmon loaf. You have to make it yourself.

BECCA: Your mom just whipped up salmon loaf?

VALERIE: I know.

AUDREY: I like salmon. I like smoked salmon, poached salmon, steamed salmon.

BECCA: Thanks, Audrey.

VALERIE: Salmon loaf.

Park. Go up to get our tickets. This is where the story changes only a little bit from the above version, because Audrey actually was asked to step away from the window, and the building really was being evacuated for a fire. Only there was no actual fire. Just a prank. And Audrey did not dive. She ambled away. Casual. And slightly annoyed.

“There better at least be some fire trucks,” Valerie said. “I will cheer if we see fire trucks.”

Two minutes later: cue the trucks.

I took a handful of pictures on my cell phone, but they came out grainy and dark. Okay, when I heard there was potentially a fire, I pretty much high-tailed it to the parking lot. Other theater goers, hundreds of them, pressed themselves against the doors and tried to look in, and milled around inches from the building. And I can get teased for being paranoid, but dude, I’m not about to get burned in a fire. I’ve learned a lot from action movies. First rule: when a building explodes, be going AWAY from it.

Valerie made some loud comments about how scrawny and young one of the firefighters was, and I said, “Dude, he is going to hear you,” and she’s like, “He can hear me… that guy–” and then he turned around, revealing his first name initial and last name, which was

P NICELY

I couldn’t even make it up.

Michelle showed up after the trucks left, sad to have missed the action. I tried telling her the fake story of how the ticket window exploded; except the ticket window was two feet away, intact, and we were inside the unscorched concession area while Audrey bought nachos. The movie started fifteen minutes late because of the fire drill. We waited in the hallway, eating and laughing. I’m going to outgrow my Big Jeans. I’m not even kidding.

Get seats in the back row. Previews start. After the first one, Michelle turns to me and Dane Cooks “STUPID STUPID STUPID”. I can tell she is going to do this after each one. I’m right. After the fourth one, she starts to turn her head and I put my hand up: “DON’T EVEN!” which makes her laugh harder.

‘Marie Antoinette’: Without ruining anything, I will say it ends on a strange note; sort of where you’re hoping it’s going to tie up all loose ends. No. BLACK SCREEN! So, not great in that respect. Beautiful movie visually. I mean, you could almost frame your television and just leave it playing on silent as part of the room decoration. It’s so pretty. There’s a part where she’s in the garden with her daughter, an overexposed sunny afternoon, and they’re both wearing gauzy white dresses and feeding a lamb, and I think every person in the theater wanted either a baby daughter or a lamb BAD.

It has a very Sofia Coppola flow, so if you like her movies you’ll like it and if you don’t, you won’t. The pacing was a little weird. It felt like some scenes should be shorter, some should be longer. It was extremely evocative, though, which was a pro and con. At the beginning of the movie, you’re feeling awkward and uncomfortable for her. Then you sort of get swept up in all the decadent parties, and then after awhile, you get bored with the whole royal life as she’s becoming bored with it. Which is, I think, what the movie was going for, but at the same time, you don’t really want to be that tired of a film while you’re watching it.

We all stretch afterwards and say goodbye in the parking lot. Auds and Nelly are off to do other things this weekend: I’m reconnecting with Shelly and Val tomorrow.

Today was just sleeping. I slept so long I got grumpy, and then I stomped out in the living room, had a bowl of cereal, and then went in the bedroom to watch TV and fell asleep again. When I finally woke up, it was almost dinnertime and I was like, I wasted the whole freaking day. Not only that, but in my absence, the whole house had been torn apart. Again.

I am so sick of this apartment. And I feel bad every time I say that, because it’s not the apartment’s fault, and many people would love to have this apartment. It’s just too small. It’s too small for this many people plus animal. We’re on top of each other, and there’s no place to put things away. Jason doesn’t want to move into our new house until the closing in January, to save money. He kind of mentioned this once, but he was talking to– Mike, I think– on the phone the other day, and as I walked by, he revealed the plan to Mike like it was set in stone. What? January? I thought we were out of here in a month and a half.

Sigh.

Anyway, off the complaining and onto better things: THE HOUSE! We were supposed to go today, but we couldn’t get the walkthrough scheduled till Monday, so instead of making two trips we’re only doing the walkthrough. Which wouldn’t be bad except that we have to do it as fast as possible, because J has to get back in time for work at 2. Walkthrough is at 9. Driving time is three to four hours depending on traffic. Plus one hour to get from highway to his office.

I got this little gem today:

Elias: You want to hear funny joke?

Becca: Okay.

Elias: …BOOBS!

Ah, one for the scrapbook.

Also, Eli is half potty-trained; meaning that he can do Number 1 in the toilet all the time but Number 2 is still in the diapers. Which is not something I will write in his scrapbook– I’ll save that for the high school yearbook. Heh. Just kidding (he hopes). (He also saw Jason going to the bathroom standing up, which blew his mind and bumped Daddy just above Mommy on the Totem Pole of Radness.)